Defining Happy

I was walking around the shopping area outside of the base and found it amusing to see so many young Korean girls who were rocking “Hip Hop Video chick” or the “Hood Chick” attire. They donned dookie braids or cornrows and tights with Jordans. They pranced back and forth near the gate waiting to grab the attention of a curious GI.

I’ve seen similar antics around Asia where people are trying so hard to lighten their skin or emulate K-pop stars to be more accepted. It leads me to question…What the eff is wrong with being yourself?

I was looking through my photos one day and didn’t feel like I looked like “myself” at all. First off, I’m trying out a new hairstyle (since randomly letting my hair grown natural in Jan 11 due to the lack of a decent stylist to cut my short hair properly) which gets wilder and more unpredictable as the day goes by. In addition to that I had adopted this lazy looking backpacker style. Although I’m not at all trying to bite  anyone’s style I just didn’t want to stand out so much. I guess this was my way of trying to be a little bit more “accepted” in to the long term traveler community.

Well, it’s a few months in an I’m like, “I need a blazer, a funky jersey sheath and some wild pumps”. Right now I don’t feel put together at all. And thanks to my loving mother I’ve been reminded quite often that I look a mess. Don’t get me wrong I will put on some sweats, a wife beater and tims in a heartbeat but this is different. I’ve been feeling like a bum with a side of wino that lives down an alley somewhere in South Bronx.

I was wondering if me second guessing my appearance had anything to do with the hundreds of foolish people I have encountered on the road that have made it clear that they find the way I look amusing or disturbing. I figured it was only a matter of time before I was in the mirror pointing out the “flaws” that I had been longing to do something about.

I don’t recall ever wanting to look like anyone else let alone wanting to be like someone else or have what another person has. With the exception of my one glove a la Michael Jackson phase when I was about 7 or 8 I like being unique. I like standing out from the crowd, being different, and doing my own thing. I don’t need to be the center of attention by any means but I prefer being one in a million as opposed to a dime a dozen.

In the next month I plan to phase out this “backpacker gear” and don things that make me feel more like myself. My appearance will be the way that makes me comfortable rather than changing it to make others be more comfortable with me.

Have any of you ever longed to be like someone else? Whether it be by altering your appearance or obtaining things that other had.  Just curious.