Defining Happy

A few days ago I made the decision to disconnect my stateside mobile, disable my facebook account, and limit my contact home to one day a week. The fact that I was traveling with two girls who were starting to get on my last damn nerves drain my energy, traveling so quickly was becoming overwhelming, and I was still trying to keep up with what was going on at home I was feeling like I was running on E. Like the second right before you kick your passenger out the car and force them to start pushing your car to the nearest gas station.

Before I left home I thought hard about not taking any electronics.  In the end I brought a nook, my blackberry, my ipod and my laptop.

My nook is good for reading books among other things.  Three months in I’m still on the first chapter of one book. My blackberry allowed me to connect to wifi, compose my blog posts while on long bus rides or sitting alone in a cafe, and call home to my mom and grandparents who got a warm fuzzy when they’d see my phone number come up on the caller ID. You could just hear the excitement in my grandmas voice when she answered the phone. And my grandfather was getting used to my check-in’s several times a week. The laptop was essential for me to do this blogging thing, purchase airline tickets securely, and to watch the occasional episode of Martin when I needed a good laugh. Lastly, my iPpd is my second heartbeat. I love music (as you may have been able to tell since the titles of a lot of my posts are knock offs of song titles) and some good old school gospel or jazz has helped to calm me after a long hard day.

The decision to rid myself of some of my gadgets and familiar human contact took a lot of praying and listening to self. On one hand I didn’t want to feel like I was abandoning my family and few close friends. Besides, their lives don’t come to a halt just because I decided to abruptly stop mine and carry myself across the world for an undisclosed amount of time.

As I’ve settled in to my new lifestyle a bit I know my decision to cut the lines of communication is a good one. Although I know I will always have a strong desire to travel I know for sure that there will never be another journey like this one.  My making the most of every second is what’s going to make this journey the most memorable. My handful of family and friends who I’ve been in contact with since I left will understand if they truly love and care for me.  If not..they can kick rocks. JUST KIDDING…ok well not completely 😉

I’ve mentioned before that traveling alone can be stressful and although I’d love to be an ear and a doormat for all of the dramas, discussions, fights, and gossip going on back home I can’t do it every single day. I truly and deeply care about the people I love and still feel torn but I need to go with my instinct on this one.

The second the phone was disconnected I felt relief. Then came the Facebook page that I can’t believe I had been so active on since I left and surprisingly I had more time to mediate and pray in the morning. Go figure.

The last thing I’m going to do is go back to traveling solo. For the last few days I’ve been sucked dry by constant discussing, planning, a million questions, stares while I eat and drink and sit, wining, and complaining. 😐  When you start feeling like you want to sew someone’s mouth closed with a dull needle and fishing wire….then it is time to travel by yourself again.

Time for some restoration and a much needed re-fill.