Defining Happy

I’ve been in Korea for a few days now and I honestly feel stuck. There have been plenty of times along this journey where I felt unsure of everything. Unsure if I was doing the right thing being on the road or if I was in the right place. But this time I’m questioning all the above in addition to “what next?” and “where to next?”.   

I totally believe in being still until you get an answer but at $43 a night for a hotel outside the base I’d really wish God would let me know something soon. (God, I mean that in the most affectionate and non-aggressive way possible .

I came to Korea hoping that it would serve as somewhat of a safe haven for me. A familiar place that happened to be the first country I had traveled to and lived in by myself at 18 years old. I came here expecting to be welcomed with opened arms just as I had been over 14 years ago. In all honestly I was mentally worn out from the things that took place in the last few months and I had hoped that the smells, sights, and sounds would provide some sense of comfort.

When I arrive I purposely secured accommodation near a military base in Itaewon (Seoul) so I could be around people who had seen people like me before. I also wanted to be around soldiers because I felt that although I’m no longer in the military I’ll always be a soldier…a veteran.  I was shocked to notice that Seoul is much more cosmopolitan, international, and live than I remembered.  There were not only military faces and dolled up korean men and women who could easily pass for stars in one of those Korean dramas but there were a ton of Middle Easterns and Africans infiltrating the area as well. With the exception of a few buildings I didn’t really recognize my surroundings at all.

I’ve mentioned before about my obsession with Korean Spas and how it started here in Korea when I lived here. Well I guess it would be no surprise to anyone that I stayed in a guestroom inside a spa for 2 nights. It was the cheapest accommodation I could find and if I had not felt the urge the “move” I would still be there. Ahhh, being naked and surrounded by random naked Korean women makes me feel so at home. . 

I checked out and took a train to Pyeongtaek which is the city outside of Osan Airbase, where I was stationed in 1998. In the taxi ride from the train station I peeped out the scenery. Some of which definitely looked familiar….the rest was new and improved as I had suspected it would be. I arrived at my hotel and was warmly welcomed by the staff. I negotiated the rate and was given the “best” room they had. Upon entering my new digs I noticed a magnet on the fridge that said “Venus”. On one hand I was freaked out by the random coincidence on the other I was sure I was in the right place.

Four nights in and I have no idea what to do next. I had originally planned to go to Mongolia but now I’m not so sure. I’ve been waking up praying, meditating and reading my devotionals. Hiding out in the room, sleeping most of the day and eating horrible and expensive food. The best thing I’ve eaten has been the chocolate candy dipped ice cream cone from McDonalds 😐 

I’ve spent most of the day searching the internet for possible destinations and next steps but I’m so lost. I’ll wake up tomorrow and extend my stay for another two nights and I’m praying I will figure things out. For now I’m stuck on stand-by…….

*The few uninspiring photos that I’ve taken since I’ve been here*

Respect

Hongik University area

Um…what?

Pyeongtaek at night

Random young and tender military cat that asked if he could take a picture with me.