Defining Happy

I think I’ve made it quite clear on this blog how much I dislike Bangkok and Kuala Lumpur due to the scams and other tomfoolery that occur there. Well so far I feel like a few cities in Cambodia are coming in at a close second.

My first five milliseconds at the border included someone trying to scam me out of my hard earned money. Who better to lead the pack than the police (to add extra impact please go back and pronounce it PO-LEECE).  Not only did they want to charge you the normal $20 rate for a visa but the cat lifted up the important papers on their clipboard to reveal another paper that asks for an additional 100 thai bhat. “You said what now?”, I asked the man. Since I’m such a genius and because of the lessons learned at my last overland border fiasco I had already read about issues at this particular border.  The 100 bhat is also coined as “tea money”. I politely gave the cat a “Ninja Please” look and told him I didn’t have any more Thai currency. He had no choice but to process my visa anyway…Boop!

After crossing the border with a cat from New Zealand who I shared a tuk tuk with from a train to the border we headed out to find transportation to Siem Reap. I had read online that taking the “free tourist” bus from the border can be an event but I wanted to find a group to split the fare with and didn’t want to pay the $35-40 taxi ride by myself.

The tourist bus waits for a few more extra green looking foreigners and drives them 20 minutes away to a “tourist bus terminal”. The terminal is damn near abandoned with the exception of a handful of dough eyed tourists and you are given a choice of transportation options from Poipet to Siem Reap which is about four hours away. By this time the Kiwi guy and I had asked a young couple if they’d like to share a taxi. This in turn meant us piling into a cramped mini van along with 11 other people. They took us to Siem Reap.  But not our hotels as promised.  Instead we were taken down a random alley to a random semi-abandoned building where tuk tuk drivers were waiting.  The tuk tuk drivers were supposed to take you to your hotel for free. I was immediately cautious and smelled a scam coming.  Enter in my driver who strategically waited for all the other drivers to leave with the people from the bus. This would include the guy from New Zealand who now chose to go on his own. I’m looking at this cat like “let’s go man” and he’s dilly dallying around.  As soon as the last person was nowhere in sight the foolishness began.

Him: So you want to go to Angkor Wat?

Me: No, not right now. I just want to go to my hotel and get settled.

Him: But tomorrow you go to Angkor Wat?

Me: I’m not sure at this moment.  Right now I just want to go to my hotel.

Him: Tuk tuk ride for free. Nothing is for free. You talk about tour now.

Me: 😐

Him: You go to Angkor Wat tomorrow?

Me: 😐  Take me to my hotel please

Him: If you don’t talk about Angkor Wat I won’t take you to  your hotel.

This cat then proceeds to walk back to the abandoned looking building and talk to his buddies who all look back at me and start laughing. I go from 0 to 10 on the pissed off scale and started to boil. Literally!  It was like a million degrees outside I’m in a random alley and this mofo is playing games. When I’m mad I may not say so but my emotions will definitely be written on my face. And I’m sure my look could be read in many languages without it being lost in translation.

This fool comes back and continues on about the temples. I got out of the tuk tuk and asked the driver of the van who dropped us off there for help.  This fool says he can’t help because his job is to drop me off.  😐  Wow, so everyone is in on the scam as I had assumed.

Totally prepared to walk to wherever I looked at the tuk tuk driver one last time and sternly said “Take me to my hotel right now!”. He refused but made another driver take me. This new cat waits til we get down the street and says, “When I take you to your hotel we talk about Angkor”. 😐

When I finally arrived at the hotel I grabbed me and my bags and I got out of the tuk tuk without looking back.  Sucka.

I swear wants me to act ethnic. Good grief.