Word?
I woke up this morning with a throat that felt like I had been swallowing broken glass the night before, nausea, and what appeared to be the pink eye minus the crusty eyelid. I had a gut feeling the day wasn’t going to go as planned but starting your day off with negativity is a recipe for disaster so I brushed it off and carried on. I got myself together and made my final calls to my Mom and Grandparents before heading down the street to wait for my “luxury” airconditioned minivan to Malaysia 😐 <— this face means that some BS is about to occur….
I think it’s polite to be prompt when someones time and money are involved but I guess my driver didn’t get that memo. Not only was the cat late but he was rude as hell, showed up in a filthy vandalized van that I’m sure had never seen soap or water or a wheel alignment …..ever! The van reeked of mildew and dirty gym socks, the AC was non-existent, there was a plastic board where one of the windows should have been, the cat was yapping on the phone like a teenage girl, and he was smoking like a chimney. I know I can’t really expect much for a $28 dollar chartered 13 hour van ride but DAYUM who knew Hepatitis A and B, a staph infection, and lung cancer from second hand smoke were included in that price? I was sure that it was going to be a long a** ride.
Go Josh! :-|
Eww
Now this screams luxury!
About 20 minutes in to the ride the cat was still flapping and yapping at the mouth and on his 4th cigarette. I asked him if he could turn up the AC since it was 367 degrees in the van. He rolled his eyes and threw his hands back with disgust as I was obviously interrupting his uber important phone call. 😐 I consider myself to be a pretty nice person…..but uh I-B-DAMNED if I was going to sit in that van for 12 hours and 40 more minutes and deal with that nonsense. I saw a sign for “Phuket Airport” and saw this as a sign from God. If there was any time to listen to my gut it was right at that second. Thank God I’m only pretending to be a broke backpacker or else I wouldn’t have had a choice but I asked the cat nicely to take me to the airport instead.
Me: “Can you take me to Phuket Airport, please?”
Him: “Airport, No”
Me: ” 😐 You said, what now? Can you please pull over and let me out on the side of the road or kindly take me to the airport, please?”
Him: ” Airport? No Penang?”
Me: “Yes please..No Penang”
So this cat abruptly crosses 3 lanes of traffic and pulls over so he can call someone who speaks English to help him make sense of it all. The cat on the phone tells me that the driver thinks I want my money back. I told him that this was not the case and that I would appreciate it if he would relay the message that I’d like to be taken to the airport instead of driving to Penang. Mkay so off to the airport we go. The man was so rude that he didn’t even get out and open the door nor did he pull over to the curb. I swear I didn’t care if it was going to cost me $23049380489234092384092384093 to get to Penang I knew my nerves and my lungs would appreciate the kind gesture.
I walked in to the airport with high hopes. I went to the reservation office of a small airline, Firefly, and watched in awe as the brawd typed some random number on her calculator for the one way flight. 😐 “You said what now?” She tells me the flight is high because it is last minute and that I couldn’t book a flight online that leaves in less than 24 hours. I gathered my things and politely declined. I’m no rocket scientist but I knew good and well the flight was going to be cheaper online so I found an internet cafe and booked the flight for $100 cheaper. I’m thinking “RUN DMC” translates to “DAMN FOOL” in Thai… I may need to change my t-shirt before I leave this country;-)
My flight doesn’t leave until 3pm so I have 4 more long hours to kill in the airport. Although I’m mad that I smell like a carton of Marlboro lights and that this security guard in the internet cafe has his naked feet on the chair next to me and is sucking his lunch out of his teeth… I will still arrive earlier than expected with my sanity in tact and that makes me happy 
So long Thailand….
Omg girl! Thank goodness u are on ur way outta there :/ i pray Malaysia will prove positive. I swear this level of craziness only happens to u! Lol jk lemme know when u get there.
Be safe xoxo
I know…It only happens to me right?
Simply amazing. I’m truly enjoying reading about your journey. This is very inspiring stuff.
Fuuuuuuuudge!! I’m glad you’re reading and enjoying. I hope your move to LA went well.
Thank God He wasn’t as crazy as he seem to be. It’s a long way but my foot still would have reach his a==.
Wowww! Dag, V. Glad you made it out safe!