Defining Happy

My initial purpose for coming to Phuket was to check one item off of my list that has been on said list for well over two years.  “Must lose 30lbs!”.  It’s not so much the number I’m concerned about.  It’s more of a want and lightweight dire need to get back in shape and be happy with the body that I see in the mirror. (I know all the men are reading this and rolling their eyes.)  Placing this huge feat at the start of my trip was probably not a good idea for me considering all that I’ve had on my plate for the last year.  I really could have used a break from thinking, doing, saying, and being for at least a month before starting something else where my 110% is required.

I’ve been lying here for the last two hours mulling over whether or not to stay in Phuket for the amount of time that I had originally planned.  I’m not sure if it’s boredom or the fact that I’m just ready to move on that has me in a funk of some sorts but the whole beauty of my non-existent travel itinerary is that I can get up and go when I please without any inconvenience to myself or anyone else.   

I’ve purchased a 20 class session from the “Plan B” gym down the street and I’m probably going to head on to Malaysia when I’m finished with my sessions.  I really enjoy the training at the new spot but I’m really feeling the urge to move along and get some momentum going on this trip.   

It could be that I’m just having one of those days.  Am I homesick? Never that.  Bored? Probably. Lonely? A little.  Although I’ve met some nice people here the conversations are a bit different than those I had at my last two destinations.  Most were backpacking for an extended period of time and had very interesting stories to tell about their travels and lives.  We seemed to have a little more in common with all having “aha” moments before embarking on our journeys.  My short conversations here have been filled with drunk hostel mate stories, a rundown of the “drama” between the local gyms, and a few people mentioning that they were too old to stay in hostels after hearing where I was staying.  And they were in their 20’s 😐 It’s a little more difficult on my part to “meet” people because of the random socially awkward thing that I acquired about 5 years ago and am trying my best to get rid of along this journey.  If I’m discussing anything related to business I’m all over it but when attempting to make new friends or have a regular conversation….I get extremely anxious.  It’s sad that a black chick being quiet, shy, and laidback usually translates to a mad, arrogant, black woman, with anger issues, and a chip on her shoulder in several different languages.  Who knew? 

The only thing tieing me to this place is the fact that I’ve just spend $160 on training yesterday. Also, I’ve already wasted $266 on the month of training I paid for at the ike and tina beatdown gym that I’m never going back to again.  I know that’s chump change in my normal life and quite frankly I’ve spent that amount on a pair of shoes without even batting an eye….but I’m a junior varsity backpacker now and that’s a huge amount of money when you think of it in terms of a flight to another country or accommodations for one month.

I’m going to end this post believing in my heart that this too shall pass.  If it doesn’t don’t be surprised when I’m writing my next post about a new country without prior notice. 

Toodles..