Defining Happy

My few days in Chalong have been quite interesting and a little bit boring to be honest.  I’ve been beat up by a toddler, a 3 foot grown man, and I wake up every day at 3am to the loud screaming crowing of the tribe of roosters that live outside my door.  But I don’t think any of that tops the night I had on Friday.  It just so happens to be the beginning of rainy season.  I would describe the short bursts of rain as a cross between a monsoon and a category 5 hurricane.   The “hostel” that I’m staying in has a hallway of toilets.  All separately enclosed in their own closet.  All of the doors at the hostel to include the bathroom and showers open to the oustide.  Ok, well I got up at about 2am and had to use the restroom.  It’s pitch black outside and raining like a tsunami is on its way.  I exit my room then got hit in the face by two or three giant spider webs and as I walked around the corner where the bathrooms were the hallway light had about 30-40 bugs surrounding it.  OK…surrounding the light is fine but in no way was I ever prepared for what happened next.  I turned on the light to one of the bathroom closets and 2043083409823049823049238023980239834 wild bugs came swarming out of the darkness and flew past my face and  in to the bathroom stall and lined the walls like wallpaper.  By this time I had to pee so bad that I was jumping up and down, running in a circle, and screaming loudly on the inside so I wouldn’t wake anyone.  I’m not one of those extra girly girls who is normally afraid of bugs but I’m not Wilderness Barbie either.  There was no way in hell I was going in to any of those bathroom stalls with species of giant bugs that I could not identify and being unsure if I had received a vaccination that would protect me from any one of their venomous stings.  

Now I’m sure you are all wondering if and when I ever peed.  Lord knows I wanted to pack up my backpack and make a B line to the nearest 5 star resort and pee there. I honestly sat there for a few minutes contemplating my escape.  But I hung in there and did what any semi-hardcore, extra clever, and totally grossed out backpacker chick would have done.  I pulled my Freshette out my backpack, grabbed an empty waterbottle, and 8 seconds later I didn’t have to pee anymore.  

Tadaaa

**I’ll pause here and give you time to Google “Freshette” and throw up inside your mouth a little bit**

Look, desperate times calls for desperate measures.  Although I’ve had my fair share of porta potties while in the military an outhouse infested with bugs is not going to work out.  No ma’am.  A pre-requisite for any place I’m staying after this will be a bathroom inside the room or inside of the closed building. Oh and let’s add a room without security bars on the windows.  I swear every time I walk in my room I feel the need to do some pushups and write a letter to my mother on notebook paper begging for money for my commissary. 

Ok that’s enough nonsense for one post 😉